This is what Lizzy looks like in her drivers license picture
My fucking roommate and I bought mochi before we had to go to class yesterday but it wasn’t melting fast enough. So we stuffed it in our bra.
Lizzy and are pretty sure this is the kind of van where kids get kidnapped
My fucking roommate and I got a boat to ourselves at Disneyland today (you can do that if you ask) and one of the ‘fun’ parts about being alone on a boat with your roommate is you get to hear everything that pops into her head
"We should live in that little shack. Think about it, me and my sister would have bunkbeds in our house on the bayou. And that one would be your house!!"
"I want that treasure, and that one. And that one!!!!!"
"That girl in the painting isn’t wearing clothes."
"It would be fun to swim in this here, pirates yelling, and the ashes of guests’ loved ones lingering in the water…"
"Those women being sold are crying"
"Oh, and I finally got that snapchat you sent me that ‘Yo ho, you hoe!’ I didn’t appreciate that."
Teaching my fucking roommate how to use snapchat is like trying to teach a cat that I don’t want it to leave bugs outside of my room
We have intelligent conversations… sometimes